a diamond and ruby decorated pendant alarm with fall detection, the spokesperson said “Although you assure me that Westminster, Windsor, Norfolk and Aberdeenshire councils all have active telecare services, we do not have anyone in the Royal Household with enough time to coordinate responses as Her Majesty moves between them…Besides, Her Majesty would probably rather see her eldest son marry again before wearing one of those.” The suggestion that Prince Philip might benefit from a GPS device to remind him which country he was in was met with a non-committal “Hmm…” Further, the spokesperson refused to confirm or deny that Prince Philip already has a telehealth device for monitoring his heart condition.
When readers see scenes of the family on the balcony of Buckingham Palace after the wedding they will surely be thinking about the missed opportunity to endorse something that could benefit millions of their subjects if the older generation do not appear proudly wearing matching white pendants with red buttons.
And, as a side note, Google reports that 72% of royal-related searches undertaken since 10 April have been by PR people trying to find material to link the products they are promoting to the royal marriage.
UPDATE 6.00pm. Emailed by ‘Anonymous’