Put bodily fluids on a chip, diagnose a sexually transmitted disease. That is the idea behind the development of a chip which, once applied and plugged into your mobile phone or computer on a mini-USB drive, will send you back a diagnosis within minutes of what STD you have (or not, lucky you). According to the Guardian, seven funders, including the Medical Research Council, have put £4 million ($6.5 million) into developing the technology via the UK Clinical Research Collaboration. The UK has one of the highest rates of STDs in Western Europe: one shocking statistic is that 2/3 of new diagnoses are aged under age 25–prime mobile users. Want the sober, high-minded version? The Guardian. The sensational, snarky take? Wired: ‘Itchy genitals? There’s an app for that.’