You know you’re from Christchurch when…
Geonet / ChristchurchQuakeMap is your homepage
The rest of the country offers you a place to stay
“Munted” and “buggered” are official technical terms
You go ‘pfffff’ when Wellington has a 4.5 earthquake that’s 40km deep
You see a nice park in another city and think it would make a good evacuation point
You sleep in one suburb, shower in another and collect water from yet another
When you drive on the right side of the road and no one thinks it’s wrong
You are happy two policemen came for a visit
When your bike becomes your best friend
You think it’s fine for a soldier to be stationed at the end of your street
You see armoured vehicles driving down the road
It’s normal to greet people with “do you need a shower?”
A bucket of sh*t is no longer that old car you drive
Every house is a crack house
Instead of rushing to the clothes line to get clothes in when it rains, you put
dirty washing on the line in the hope that it will rain enough to clean them
Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense
Your doctor recommends having a few stiff drinks before bed to help you sleep
You know how to start and refuel a generator
You have tied the pantry, liquor cabinet and all the cupboard doors
closed and it’s not to keep kids out
You prefer to sit under the table instead of at it
You think electronics that have “shock proof” should say to which earthquake magnitude
You know and actually understand the terms and conditions of your House and
Contents insurance policies
You can see irony in claims about houses made of “permanent materials”
Your en-suite has a vege garden, dog kennel and grass
Your teenagers are only too happy to sleep in the same room as their parents
You stop using the term “built like a brick sh*t house”
Dressing up to “head into town” means putting on a hi-viz vest, hard hat and boots
Discussing toilet habits with total strangers is an everyday norm
Wee boys don’t get excited when they see (another) digger or a dozer – but all the
adults in the street cheer wildly
Voluntarily staying in Timaru for five days seems like a good idea
You know what that extra gear lever on your 4X4 is for
Metservice includes a graph for dust
You have dust mask tan lines
You can use the term “liquefaction” in everyday casual conversation. Even your 3-year old can
When a massive group of students appears in your street, you feel overwhelmed with
gratitude instead calling the police. What’s more, the students leave the street in better
condition than when they arrived
The answer to where anything is…it’s on the floor
You smile at strangers and greet people like you’re one big family